A husband does not need to earn the resprect of his wife any more than a wife needs to earn the love of her husband. A wife ought to respect her husband because he is her husband, just as a husband ought to love and honor his wife for the simple fact that she is his wife.
Your husband might “deserve” it when you mock him, berate him, belittle him and nag him, but you don’t marry someone in order to give them what they deserve. In marriage, you give them what you’ve promised.
This does not mean that a man has a license to be lazy, abusive, or uncaring. Precisely the opposite. he is challenged to live up to the respect his wife has for him, since his wife under these circumstances has already paid the respect due and he is therefore challenged to keep up. I’ts like having a prepaid account.
But if a wife instead parcels out her respect on a reward system, the husband will feel demorailzed and empty. He will not feel at home in his home. He will not have the sense of masculine purpose and fulfillment that his family life ought to afford him. After a while, he will dread coming home at night, preferring to remain at work where his contributions are appreciated and his talents are admired. Now the marriage has entered a very dangerous place. If a man feels more like a man when he’s away from his wife than when he’s with her, disaster is right around the corner. The marriage is already half-dead. It won’t take much to finish it off.